Addiction has this strange way of testing you when you least expect it. You can be months—or even years—into your sobriety, feeling grounded and confident, and then suddenly… there it is. That familiar clink of glasses. The smell of a freshly poured drink. The easy laughter of people around a bar. You thought you were fine being around it. Maybe you were fine—until you weren’t.
Back to the Island
Recently, I went to an island in Thailand I hadn’t visited in over ten years. The last time I was there, I was deep in my partying days—bar hopping, late nights, the whole scene. My memories of that place were soaked in alcohol, both literally and figuratively.
Going back sober felt… different. Very different. The beaches were the same, the sunsets still breathtaking, but there was a strange pull in the air—like the island itself remembered who I used to be.
It wasn’t that I wanted to drink. It was more subtle than that. Certain smells, certain music drifting from a beachfront bar, the clinking of ice in a glass—all of it stirred something in me. My brain whispered, “This is where we used to have fun. Remember?”
I might be over 4 years sober but I don’t have it all work out! And I wasn’t used to alcohol being available on every single corner and seeing people drink throughout the day. I have created a life where I don’t see this on a daily basis and so it was bit of a shock to the system.
The Subtle Shift
You can feel steady in your everyday sober life—secure in your routines, your spaces, your people. But a new (or in this case, old) environment can jolt your memory in ways you didn’t see coming. The last time I had this, was when I first moved to Thailand and the mental obsession creeped in and I was terrified of a relapse.
It’s not just about craving alcohol. It’s about old associations. My brain didn’t know yet how to experience that island without a drink in my hand. It was trying to reconcile the “me” of the past with the “me” of now.
Why This Happens
It’s not weakness—it’s biology and memory. Addiction isn’t just about the substance—it’s about the pathways your brain built to associate certain places, people, and feelings with alcohol. And when you return to a place where you did some of your heavy drinking, those pathways light up like neon signs.
How I Handled It
Luckily, I have a very strong support network and various tools that helped me process and handle what was happening. I also reminded myself that moments like this can happen—and that’s okay. I accept that I am an addict, and alcohol was my best friend for many years. There will be times when my brain tries to trick me into rekindling that relationship. But now I know how to recognise it, name it, and move through it without giving in.
1. I noticed it without judgment.
Instead of panicking, I acknowledged it: “Okay, these feelings are here. I know why.”
2. I stayed grounded in my “why.”
I reminded myself how much better my life is now, and how alcohol never really gave me what I thought it did.
3. I chose my peace.
If a certain bar or street felt too heavy with memories, I skipped it. No guilt, no FOMO.
4. I made myself accountable
I told someone I trusted how I was feeling. Saying it out loud took away the secrecy and gave me immediate support. I also talked about it when I got home back and it took the power away from those thoughts.
The Truth About Sobriety in Old Spaces
Sobriety isn’t just about saying “no” to alcohol—it’s about saying “yes” to the life you’re building. And sometimes, that means learning how to rewrite your story in the same places where your old chapters were messy.
Going back to that island sober didn’t erase my past—it gave me a chance to see it differently. The sunsets were still beautiful. The ocean was still healing. And the best part? I remembered all of it the next morning.
If you’re struggling and need support, please reach out. As a qualified recovery coach, I can help you navigate these moments, build tools for resilience, and find freedom in your sobriety.
You don’t have to go through it alone.
Yasmin Recovery Coach 
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